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Old 07-24-2008, 09:15 PM   #1
lynn893
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Knitted gift never used
How would you approach a family member regarding a gift you had made for a new baby, considering not only the cost of the materials (over $40), but your time involved to create a beautiful hand-made outfit, knowing that the outfit had never been worn, let alone tried on?

Would you confront them?

It's a family member (SIL). I spent over 2 months knitting a beautiful sweater, hat and booties for her baby. Gave it to her upon the birth of her daughter, and a couple weeks ago (when I asked if she had taken any pics of the baby wearing it, so I could add them to my portfolio), she told me that she still hadn't worn it! (I knitted it in a 'newborne' size. The baby is almost 4 months old - there is NO way it will fit now)

We are seeing them again this weekend.... I so badly want to say something.... but not sure if I should.

What would you do?
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Old 07-24-2008, 09:47 PM   #2
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Let it go.... They may think it's too nice to put the baby in, being they spit up a lot, they may not think it's good enough, they got so many other items they didn't think of it... the list could go on. Doesn't matter, it was a gift and what people do with a gift is their choice and you don't have a say unfortunately.

It definitely would be nice if she showed some appreciation, but many people don't understand what goes into something hand made. So let it go.
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Old 07-24-2008, 09:52 PM   #3
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I know you are probably disappointed after all the love and hard work you put into your gift but that's the downside of giving gifts sometimes.

I always try so hard to give something unique and special when I give a gift to someone but once the gift is given, I have to let go.

We can't expect everyone to have the same kind of tastes as we do or even the understanding of what goes into a handmade item. The thought behind the gift is what is most important. You put your love and hard work into something and it hopefully it was received graciously. After that, it's just gravy.

So if I were you, I would just let it go and not say anything.
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Old 07-24-2008, 10:00 PM   #4
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Once a gift leaves your hands it is no longer yours, but the receiver's. Perhaps instead of commenting on her not using the outfit you could offer to teach her to knit. Then she would truly understand all the work you put into it. For now, buy a doll that the outfit would fit and give it to the baby. Tell the mother you'd really like for the doll to wear the outfit you made for the baby. When the baby is old enough she will have a gorgeous doll to play with, and the doll will be dressed in love from head to foot!!!

As knitters, we have to realize that most non knitting people just don't understand the emotion, love and hard work poured into each knitted gift! Once you can accept that, you will feel better! LOL, I've been knitting about 26 years. Soon perhaps I'll "feel better". So, do as I say, not as I do!!!
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Old 07-24-2008, 10:01 PM   #5
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I agree with the others, just let it go. Newborns do seem to get a lot of clothing as gifts and grow out of them so quickly that some things may never get used.
It's a shame after all that loving work that went into the outfit, but give your SIL the benefit of the doubt.
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Old 07-24-2008, 10:02 PM   #6
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I agree with the others. What would you say?

There's really no purpose to be served by confronting them. At best, you'll make them feel bad for hurting your feelings; at worst, they'll be angry that you had to gall to confront.

But the gift was given in love, and is now outgrown. Let it go. She may well cherish it anyway...you never know.
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Old 07-24-2008, 10:21 PM   #7
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GRRR! Call me a b with a itch but i would probably mention to them that you loved making it and hoped they had got some use out of it. IF the say "no" haven't used it yet i would ask them to try it on the baby while you are there (just so you can see it). If it doesn't fit the baby tell them that you would pass it on to someone else if they didn't want it cluttering up ther place. But for G*Ds sake make sure they don't throw it out!!!! I made a sweater for a friends newborn baby and it turned out WAY to big so im still waiting to see if they use it or not. The thought of them not using it makes me sick! IT was cabled with a fan lace pattern in between and it was hard to make. I want so badly for it to be used and passed down as i intended but im just not sure it will be. I totally feel for you, and everyone here is right, non-knitters do NOT understand what goes into hand made things. Good luck. OXOXOXOXOXOX Meg
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Old 07-24-2008, 10:22 PM   #8
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Quote:
For now, buy a doll that the outfit would fit and give it to the baby. Tell the mother you'd really like for the doll to wear the outfit you made for the baby.
Or a bear. I read a post on another forum where she'd made the BSJ so small it wouldn't fit even a newborn, but she had a bear the right size and was going to give it to the baby.
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Old 07-24-2008, 10:22 PM   #9
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i think that they think the gift is way too nice to put on the baby.....and has probably been put away for "good"......perhaps you need to take it as a compliment?

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Old 07-24-2008, 10:26 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by suzeeq View Post
Or a bear. I read a post on another forum where she'd made the BSJ so small it wouldn't fit even a newborn, but she had a bear the right size and was going to give it to the baby.
Oh! Dolls and bears are great ideas!
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