Motivation advice needed

[Denise in Michigan]

To make a long story short, there's not an area of my life that I don't need to make changes in. Everything from attitude and eating habits to job and family relationships. I'm feeling overwhelmed and paralyzed--it all needs work at the same time and I don't know what to do.

I've had a problem with low-level depression all of my life, and have responded well to medication and talk therapy. I am currently on medication and have been for 17 years. I'm sure that depression plays a role in my current inability to take action. My family doctor is kind of at a loss and says he thinks that more therapy is the next step, but I really don't want to talk.

I need practical suggestions for how to break out of this. What has worked for you?

[Sajomaro]

I'm not sure I can help with motivation as it is something that I lack. One thing that I have found helps is to look at the details rather than the whole. Even the smallest thing can change things for the better.

Make a list of everything you would like to change. Break those down into smaller goals. Figure out what you need to do to accomplish each goal.

For example, maybe you want to eat less junk food. Your list would look something like this.

1. Eat less junk food
- throw out any junk food in the house
- don't buy any more.
- buy healthier snack food (granola bars, fruit, yogurt, etc)

Give yourself a few weeks to get used to each change before moving on to the next. Once you've accomplished one goal, reward yourself. My suggestion is to pick something before you start that will keep you motivated. Something that you would be unlikely to buy or do otherwise. Like a really expensive yarn or a massage.

Just remember that you don't have to do it all and it's okay to slip up and have a bag of chips or a chocolate bar or whatever. You're allowed. I've heard that people who allow themselves a mistake every now and then are more likely to achieve their goal than people that don't.

I hope that helps.

[cdjack]

I agree with Jodi. You can't look just at the big picture of all that you want to accomplish. You'll get way too overwhelmed and end up not getting any of it done. At least, that's what happens to me.
Make lists, but break down each thing that you want to get done into doable items on your list. And don't make one big list. Again, way too overwhelming. Make a list for each area that you want to work on in your life.

I don't have a problem with depression, but I do have ADD without hyperactivity. That means instead of the classic hyper ADD person that you probably think of, I am sluggish and have a hard time starting tasks and sometimes finishing them. I make lists for everything in my life. Even housework. Something about seeing tasks written down makes me want to do it more.

[NikitaShera]

Try reading book "feeling good" by Dr. Burns. Read the section on doing nothingism.

Take Care

[Jeremy]

There is a saying "Just do the next right thing" In other words, don't worry about the massive amount of challenges you feel you must confront, simply concentrate on doing the next thing in line. Don't worry about losing 30lbs, skip dessert at the meal you are eating. Don't worry about becoming a new person, concentrate on remaining positive in your next interaction. You are not in this boat alone. The best of luck.

[vaknitter]

So here's my $0.02 and take it for just that ... for me personally I have a frustration journal. I mainly write in the middle of the night about all the things that keep me up or that I just can say out loud for one reason or another. Then I keep a running "to do" list. It includes everything I want to get done in a day or week. Personally, I really can't focus too much further ahead than a week or I get overwhelmed.
Concentrate on YOURSELF first and OTHERS second.
Make changes slowly
REWARD yourself - seriously - put stars on your calander when you check something off your list or meet your personal goal for that day - which can be as easy as call person x or eat only 2 scoops of ice cream or go for a 20min walk and do 15 sit-ups. When you get 10 stars take yourself out for a new hank of yarn or to a movie or have a glass of good wine.

[Plantgoddess+]

I found that some exercise helps me. I too struggle with motivation and SAD. My 2 dogs insist on a walk every day. I find getting out of bed pulling on my coveralls and going to the barn to feed the horses and then the dogs before I do anything else gets me started.
I then make my coffee and grap a travel mug and head up my hill for a half hour hike with my dogs. I love being out in the fresh air regardless of the weather and feel invigorated when I get back. If I wait to walk until later in the day I find that I find excuses not to do it and I spin my wheels and feel bad for not accomplishing much throughout the day.
As the others have said pick something to focus on and do that until it becomes automatic and then build.

[Denise in Michigan]

Thank you all so much for the help and kind words--I'm at a standstill, a turning point, and I really need them.
You have posted some wonderful ideas here: make lists, focus on details, break things down into managable goals rather than "big picture" views, not trying to change everything at once, read helpful books, "do the next right thing", reward myself for reaching goals (I always felt great in school when I got a star!), start the day actively. I'm going to print out what you've written so that I can have your thoughts with me, can review and appreciate them, as I try to refocus and renew my life.
I can't express how much your experiences and advice mean to me.

[Sunshine's Mom]

Thank you all so much for the help and kind words--I'm at a standstill, a turning point, and I really need them.
You have posted some wonderful ideas here: make lists, focus on details, break things down into managable goals rather than "big picture" views, not trying to change everything at once, read helpful books, "do the next right thing", reward myself for reaching goals (I always felt great in school when I got a star!), start the day actively. I'm going to print out what you've written so that I can have your thoughts with me, can review and appreciate them, as I try to refocus and renew my life.
I can't express how much your experiences and advice mean to me.

And also remember that you have loads of friends here that are happy to listen and cheer you on.

My advice isn't really any different from what people have said above. I've probably had small bouts of depression because it goes hand-in-hand with something else that I definitely suffer from: anxiety. I use lists a lot because I'm motivated to cross things off as I finish them and writing things down that I want to accomplish helps me to remember to do them.

My thing right now is budgeting and paying down my credit card debt. With all of the numbers, it obviously helped to make a spreadsheet, but I also bank online, so now I can see exactly where my money should be and actually is all of the time. If you have any goals that you can quantify (weight loss, money, time spent on things you find worthwhile, etc.) that might also help. When you do well, you'll know exactly how well you did and you can be really proud of yourself. When you miss a goal, you'll know what to aim for next time or you will realize that smaller goals are needed.

It is all about breaking it down into smaller bits like everyone has said. When you do well with those small things, the big picture isn't so scary anymore!