Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-19-2008, 06:00 PM   #1
Denise in Michigan
Turning the Heel
 
Denise in Michigan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Southeastern Michigan, but Yooper at heart
Posts: 698
Thanks: 250
Thanked 145 Times in 119 Posts
Motivation advice needed
To make a long story short, there's not an area of my life that I don't need to make changes in. Everything from attitude and eating habits to job and family relationships. I'm feeling overwhelmed and paralyzed--it all needs work at the same time and I don't know what to do.

I've had a problem with low-level depression all of my life, and have responded well to medication and talk therapy. I am currently on medication and have been for 17 years. I'm sure that depression plays a role in my current inability to take action. My family doctor is kind of at a loss and says he thinks that more therapy is the next step, but I really don't want to talk.

I need practical suggestions for how to break out of this. What has worked for you?
__________________
Knitting is more like tying your shoes than it is like patting your head and rubbing your tummy at the same time.
Denise in Michigan is offline   Reply With Quote

 

This advertising will not be shown to registered members. Join our free online community today!

Old 08-19-2008, 06:48 PM   #2
Sajomaro
1st Leg of the Journey
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Langley, BC, Canada
Posts: 149
Thanks: 46
Thanked 56 Times in 42 Posts


I'm not sure I can help with motivation as it is something that I lack. One thing that I have found helps is to look at the details rather than the whole. Even the smallest thing can change things for the better.

Make a list of everything you would like to change. Break those down into smaller goals. Figure out what you need to do to accomplish each goal.

For example, maybe you want to eat less junk food. Your list would look something like this.

1. Eat less junk food
- throw out any junk food in the house
- don't buy any more.
- buy healthier snack food (granola bars, fruit, yogurt, etc)

Give yourself a few weeks to get used to each change before moving on to the next. Once you've accomplished one goal, reward yourself. My suggestion is to pick something before you start that will keep you motivated. Something that you would be unlikely to buy or do otherwise. Like a really expensive yarn or a massage.

Just remember that you don't have to do it all and it's okay to slip up and have a bag of chips or a chocolate bar or whatever. You're allowed. I've heard that people who allow themselves a mistake every now and then are more likely to achieve their goal than people that don't.

I hope that helps.
__________________
Jodi

My Blog!
Stick-ee Creations



I'm Sajomaro on Ravelry too!
Sajomaro is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Sajomaro For This Useful Post:
Denise in Michigan (08-20-2008)
Old 08-19-2008, 07:34 PM   #3
cdjack
Turning the Heel
 
cdjack's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: North Texas
Posts: 788
Thanks: 83
Thanked 277 Times in 243 Posts
I agree with Jodi. You can't look just at the big picture of all that you want to accomplish. You'll get way too overwhelmed and end up not getting any of it done. At least, that's what happens to me.
Make lists, but break down each thing that you want to get done into doable items on your list. And don't make one big list. Again, way too overwhelming. Make a list for each area that you want to work on in your life.

I don't have a problem with depression, but I do have ADD without hyperactivity. That means instead of the classic hyper ADD person that you probably think of, I am sluggish and have a hard time starting tasks and sometimes finishing them. I make lists for everything in my life. Even housework. Something about seeing tasks written down makes me want to do it more.
__________________



Courtney
cdjack is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to cdjack For This Useful Post:
Denise in Michigan (08-20-2008)
Old 08-19-2008, 07:51 PM   #4
NikitaShera
1st Leg of the Journey
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 141
Thanks: 43
Thanked 16 Times in 11 Posts
Try reading book "feeling good" by Dr. Burns. Read the section on doing nothingism.

Take Care
NikitaShera is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to NikitaShera For This Useful Post:
Denise in Michigan (08-20-2008)
Old 08-19-2008, 09:38 PM   #5
Jeremy
Moderator
Mod Squad
 
Jeremy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 2,523
Thanks: 237
Thanked 369 Times in 290 Posts
There is a saying "Just do the next right thing" In other words, don't worry about the massive amount of challenges you feel you must confront, simply concentrate on doing the next thing in line. Don't worry about losing 30lbs, skip dessert at the meal you are eating. Don't worry about becoming a new person, concentrate on remaining positive in your next interaction. You are not in this boat alone. The best of luck.
__________________
JeremyB
Jeremy is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Jeremy For This Useful Post:
Denise in Michigan (08-20-2008)
Old 08-19-2008, 09:47 PM   #6
vaknitter
Working the Gusset
 
vaknitter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: virginia
Posts: 1,609
Thanks: 401
Thanked 422 Times in 386 Posts
Make changes gradually
So here's my $0.02 and take it for just that ... for me personally I have a frustration journal. I mainly write in the middle of the night about all the things that keep me up or that I just can say out loud for one reason or another. Then I keep a running "to do" list. It includes everything I want to get done in a day or week. Personally, I really can't focus too much further ahead than a week or I get overwhelmed.
Concentrate on YOURSELF first and OTHERS second.
Make changes slowly
REWARD yourself - seriously - put stars on your calander when you check something off your list or meet your personal goal for that day - which can be as easy as call person x or eat only 2 scoops of ice cream or go for a 20min walk and do 15 sit-ups. When you get 10 stars take yourself out for a new hank of yarn or to a movie or have a glass of good wine.
vaknitter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-20-2008, 10:43 AM   #7
Plantgoddess+
Working the Gusset
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Eastern Washington
Posts: 1,734
Thanks: 284
Thanked 569 Times in 512 Posts
I found that some exercise helps me. I too struggle with motivation and SAD. My 2 dogs insist on a walk every day. I find getting out of bed pulling on my coveralls and going to the barn to feed the horses and then the dogs before I do anything else gets me started.
I then make my coffee and grap a travel mug and head up my hill for a half hour hike with my dogs. I love being out in the fresh air regardless of the weather and feel invigorated when I get back. If I wait to walk until later in the day I find that I find excuses not to do it and I spin my wheels and feel bad for not accomplishing much throughout the day.
As the others have said pick something to focus on and do that until it becomes automatic and then build.
__________________
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has."--Margaret Mead
Plantgoddess+ is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Plantgoddess+ For This Useful Post:
Denise in Michigan (08-20-2008)
Old 08-20-2008, 02:59 PM   #8
Denise in Michigan
Turning the Heel
 
Denise in Michigan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Southeastern Michigan, but Yooper at heart
Posts: 698
Thanks: 250
Thanked 145 Times in 119 Posts
Thank you all so much for the help and kind words--I'm at a standstill, a turning point, and I really need them.
You have posted some wonderful ideas here: make lists, focus on details, break things down into managable goals rather than "big picture" views, not trying to change everything at once, read helpful books, "do the next right thing", reward myself for reaching goals (I always felt great in school when I got a star!), start the day actively. I'm going to print out what you've written so that I can have your thoughts with me, can review and appreciate them, as I try to refocus and renew my life.
I can't express how much your experiences and advice mean to me.
__________________
Knitting is more like tying your shoes than it is like patting your head and rubbing your tummy at the same time.
Denise in Michigan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-20-2008, 03:48 PM   #9
Sunshine's Mom
Turning the Heel
 
Sunshine's Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Clifton Park, NY
Posts: 819
Thanks: 214
Thanked 279 Times in 242 Posts
Originally Posted by Denise in Michigan View Post
Thank you all so much for the help and kind words--I'm at a standstill, a turning point, and I really need them.
You have posted some wonderful ideas here: make lists, focus on details, break things down into managable goals rather than "big picture" views, not trying to change everything at once, read helpful books, "do the next right thing", reward myself for reaching goals (I always felt great in school when I got a star!), start the day actively. I'm going to print out what you've written so that I can have your thoughts with me, can review and appreciate them, as I try to refocus and renew my life.
I can't express how much your experiences and advice mean to me.
And also remember that you have loads of friends here that are happy to listen and cheer you on.
Sunshine's Mom is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Sunshine's Mom For This Useful Post:
Denise in Michigan (08-21-2008)
Old 08-20-2008, 04:05 PM   #10
nephthys8
 
Posts: n/a
My advice isn't really any different from what people have said above. I've probably had small bouts of depression because it goes hand-in-hand with something else that I definitely suffer from: anxiety. I use lists a lot because I'm motivated to cross things off as I finish them and writing things down that I want to accomplish helps me to remember to do them.

My thing right now is budgeting and paying down my credit card debt. With all of the numbers, it obviously helped to make a spreadsheet, but I also bank online, so now I can see exactly where my money should be and actually is all of the time. If you have any goals that you can quantify (weight loss, money, time spent on things you find worthwhile, etc.) that might also help. When you do well, you'll know exactly how well you did and you can be really proud of yourself. When you miss a goal, you'll know what to aim for next time or you will realize that smaller goals are needed.

It is all about breaking it down into smaller bits like everyone has said. When you do well with those small things, the big picture isn't so scary anymore!
  Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to For This Useful Post:
Denise in Michigan (08-21-2008)
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
100% OT advice needed ecb The Lounge 20 09-27-2007 02:57 AM
DPN advice needed snowbear General Knitting 9 06-28-2007 09:20 AM
Some advice needed! Zebragirlnz How-to Questions 5 06-24-2007 02:21 AM
OT--advice needed 1knittychick General Knitting 2 06-02-2007 06:12 PM
Some advice needed Jenelle General Knitting 18 03-10-2006 11:20 PM

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:00 PM.