Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-19-2008, 12:43 AM   #31
saracidaltendencies
Working the Gusset
 
saracidaltendencies's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: knittinghelp.com
Posts: 1,919
Thanks: 955
Thanked 1,090 Times in 608 Posts
Ok, I don't mean to step on any toes here but I must admit I was bothered by a certain post.

The situation bailsmom was in I think provoked a basic fight or flight human response, and, in those situations, a person never knows what they will do, until it happens to them.

When I was young, I always used to tell myself if our house ever caught fire there were certain things I would save such as my animals, photo albums, posters of my favorite band, etc. I had it all planned out. Then, when I was 18, just out of high school, we unfortunately did have a house fire. Know what I saved? Myself. I still beat myself up sometimes because we had a cat, named Blue, and she was sleeping on a couch in my room, (my room was in the basement and the basement was divided by a makeshift wall...the fire was on the side of the basement RIGHT next to my room). As I saw my room fill with smoke I didn't even think to grab my cat...She was RIGHT THERE, curled up on my couch. I had to run past her to get upstairs to get out of the house. But did I think to grab her? No, I didn't. The only thing going through my head was to get out of that house or be engulfed in smoke. There were also checks in my room, graduation checks worth hundreds of dollars that I hadn't even had a chance to deposit yet. Did I think of the hundreds of dollars in checks waiting to be cashed? Nope, sure didn't.

My point is, you can plan and plan and plan, but until you are faced with certain situations, you do what comes naturally to you no matter what you always told yourself you'd do or what plans you made.

All I can say is I completely back what bailsmom did, and I think most anyone who saw a child in a potentially dangerous situation would do the same without even contemplating the risk to themselves. And THAT is what hero's are made from. They put the safety of others before themselves, remove themselves from their comfort zones to help a person in need.

No one has the foresight to know exactly how a situation is going to turn out...Sometimes things turn out fine, sometimes they don't, but don't judge someone without walking in their shoes.

I for one applaud bailsmom for what she did, despite the personal risks, and can say with 100% certainty I would have done the exact same thing.

And, if bailsmom can look back, and know in her heart that if she were faced with the situation again, and she would do it exactly the same, again, then she made the right choice and no one has the right to criticize her.

Anyway, that's my 2 cents.
__________________
--The member formerly known as Demonica

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."
- Mahatma Gandhi
saracidaltendencies is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to saracidaltendencies For This Useful Post:
bailsmom (11-19-2008)

 

This advertising will not be shown to registered members. Join our free online community today!

Old 11-19-2008, 01:15 AM   #32
Simply_Renee
Turning the Heel
 
Simply_Renee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: NE Tennessee
Posts: 625
Thanks: 409
Thanked 195 Times in 183 Posts
Quote:
Wait until the police arrive. They can safely determine if the dad needed help or just alerted to the childs wandering. The are trained to observe the condition of the house, child, parent, and overall environment. If they see "just cause" then they would call in child protective services or not.
Standard procedure is- in finding a child unattended and dressed inappropriately, CPS must be called. Even if the police understand it was a mistake, they are obligated to report it- "just cause" or not. If there was just cause, they would remove the child right then and not release him/her back to the parents. The detective told me they didn't want to report it- but they were required to. He said he would talk to CPS and they probably wouldn't even come out and would close it. They came out anyway.

I am definitely with Demonica on this one. As for me, I'll be d*mned if I ever DON'T stop to help someone. I refuse to be afraid to help other people. And if that lands me in trouble, so mote it be. I'm not trying to come across harshly- this is just me standing up for what I believe in.
__________________
OTN: - Tree of Life afghan, socks, afghan for Dad, Tura Maeve baby dress, alpaca Winter Mountains scarf, Frida poncho

Recently FO- Quinn cabled bag, Evangeline fingerless gloves (2 pairs), Topknot baby hats, pompom & earflap hats, 8 pairs of socks, Baby Folkwear Caftan, Debbie Bliss Baby Shawl (blanket)

I'm SimplyRenee on Ravelry- feel free to add me as a friend & I will do the same!
Simply_Renee is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Simply_Renee For This Useful Post:
bailsmom (11-19-2008)
Old 11-19-2008, 10:36 AM   #33
bailsmom
Turning the Heel
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 826
Thanks: 369
Thanked 141 Times in 120 Posts
Pheww! (wiping the sweat off my brow ) Oh thank you all again for your support and continued reassurance with this whole situation. I'm feeling a whole lot better about it this morning. I asked DH last night when he came home if he thought I did the right thing and he looked at me like I was crazy. It didn't even take him 1 second to say yes. Which I knew he did, but that darn feeling was really taking over my thoughts yesterday.

And then we took our pup for her walk last night and we avoided the house as I wasn't completely comfortable yet (thinking the police would be waiting for me there ) and we were walking up the sidewalk talking and then he says, "Oh hey, the cops are here for you!" I looked up and there was a cop car with his lights on (not flashing just lightly on so you could see he was a cop) I nearly had a stroke! Then I hit him a couple of times as he stands there laughing at me. Brat. The cop was turning around on the road we were walking on.

If I were faced with the same situation I would most definitely do the same thing again knowing full well the consequences. I'd rather feel funny for a few days then live with the "what if" senario for the rest of my life.

You all rock! Thank you so much for your support.
__________________
Some days are curlier than others.
bailsmom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-19-2008, 10:43 AM   #34
Abbily
Instepping Out
 
Abbily's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 2,996
Thanks: 458
Thanked 1,603 Times in 1,120 Posts
Originally Posted by bailsmom View Post
I don't want to be afraid to help someone in need, I hate that people make me feel this way, it really sucks. To involve the authorities would have been a complete waste of their time. She got locked out, I helped her get inside. Period. I hope that someday if me or my family is in trouble and someone can help us, depending on the circumstances, that they do help us.

And P.S. had the dog bitten me, it would have been MY fault, not theirs. And I would never sue someone because of something I did. Maybe if people would stop suing each other over the dumbest things, people would start helping each other a little more.
I agree 100%! I know you know this already, but just wanted to say again- you absolutely did the right thing. I applaud you for putting the child's needs before your own comfort. If more people behaved this way, the world would be a better place.
__________________
Carey
Mommy to two wonderful girls

"I don't have to conform to the vagaries of time and space, I'm a loony!" -Campbell Bain (David Tennant) 'Takin' Over the Asylum'




OTN: Cabled Sweater, arm warmers, kids' clothes
Abbily is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Abbily For This Useful Post:
bailsmom (11-19-2008)
Old 11-19-2008, 11:16 AM   #35
Sunshine's Mom
Turning the Heel
 
Sunshine's Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Clifton Park, NY
Posts: 819
Thanks: 214
Thanked 279 Times in 242 Posts
Bailsmom, I read Demonica's post this morning and I felt bad that my post may have been construed as criticizing you. I didn't mean it that way at all. It was just my opinion of what I would have done nothing more than that. Helping a child is always a good deed. I'm usually an optimist, but I just wouldn't have made the choice to walk around the back of a building that I'm not familiar with, much less leaving my husband on the street waiting for me. I would have demanded that he come along so I had back-up in case things got hairy. But, I'm certainly not criticizing you and it all worked out fine and I'm sure that girl was happy to be back in the house and warm. You did good!
Sunshine's Mom is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Sunshine's Mom For This Useful Post:
bailsmom (11-19-2008)
Old 11-19-2008, 11:21 AM   #36
iza
Turning the Heel
 
iza's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Montreal, Canada
Posts: 946
Thanks: 53
Thanked 222 Times in 178 Posts
911 is not there to protect us against lawsuits. And it's not there for the improbable "what ifs". It's for emergency situations and they should be called only when you truly fear for a person's safety, or for your own.

Bailsmom, you totally did the right thing. This little girl was obviously trying to go back inside the house, calling for her dad, and you asked her many times if she was ok. I think you judged the situation correctly. I had to call 911 twice in my life, and I can tell you waiting 5 minutes for someone to answer when you need help is absolutely horrible. I really wish people didn't call 911 "just in case". There are usually other resources you can use instead.
__________________
iza on ravelry!
My not so popular BLOG
iza is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to iza For This Useful Post:
bailsmom (11-19-2008)
Old 11-19-2008, 12:46 PM   #37
Crycket
Working the Gusset
 
Crycket's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Kitchener, ON - Canada
Posts: 1,675
Thanks: 273
Thanked 307 Times in 251 Posts
Send a message via Skype™ to Crycket
Well said Demonica! It is always good to have a plan, but when it all boils down to it, you do what you have to do! It is amazing what life pushes us to do when put in comprimising positions....ppl live though war, famine, depressions, etc...

We can all shake our heads and say we would or wouldn't do something, but in the end...you really don't know til it happens. How many ppl say "I would never touch poo" but as soon as you get that puppy or baby home, you are happy to do it!

Being in Guides for many years, I have dealt with every sort of parent in the world. All of them were well intentioned, but I got heat for stuff that really had nothing to do with me in the end...(got reemed for asking if badgework was done - it was just that the mother was dying of cancer, got reemed for leaving a Pathfinder leader postion - it had to do with the kid really likeing me as a leader, etc) that father was probably upset mostly with himself for not noticing what was going on with his kid, and you were the closest outlet....end of story...he probably took it out on her, he obviously took it out on you....but really...he was likely mad at him....
__________________
Adopt one today! Adopt one today!


Growing old is mandatory, growing UP is optional!
Crycket is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Crycket For This Useful Post:
bailsmom (11-19-2008)
Old 11-19-2008, 03:17 PM   #38
bailsmom
Turning the Heel
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 826
Thanks: 369
Thanked 141 Times in 120 Posts
Originally Posted by Sunshine's Mom View Post
Bailsmom, I read Demonica's post this morning and I felt bad that my post may have been construed as criticizing you. I didn't mean it that way at all. It was just my opinion of what I would have done nothing more than that. Helping a child is always a good deed. I'm usually an optimist, but I just wouldn't have made the choice to walk around the back of a building that I'm not familiar with, much less leaving my husband on the street waiting for me. I would have demanded that he come along so I had back-up in case things got hairy. But, I'm certainly not criticizing you and it all worked out fine and I'm sure that girl was happy to be back in the house and warm. You did good!
I completely understand your position as I am one of the most cautious people you will ever meet. I don't take risks - EVER. But I have this thing called a 'gut-feeling' that seems to find me whenever I need it, and most times when I don't expect it. And my gut didn't tell me to keep walking, it told me to stop. I would have never gone and helped her if I felt at any second my life was in danger. It was completely lit up in the back and the direction we were walking was from the back of their house to the front. So the back porches were in the open and again, lit up quite nicely and I didn't have to walk down a dark side of a house, it faced the street. And my DH would never have let me go alone if he felt it wasn't safe. He wasn't more than 30 feet away from me the whole time. Granted he couldn't see me as I was on the 2nd floor, but if anything would have happened he would have been able to get to me in seconds. And he would have let my dog go get me too.

I appreciate your clarification.
__________________
Some days are curlier than others.
bailsmom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2008, 01:24 PM   #39
Mike
Working the Gusset
 
Mike's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: IL
Posts: 1,313
Thanks: 77
Thanked 387 Times in 289 Posts
Originally Posted by iza View Post
911 is not there to protect us against lawsuits. And it's not there for the improbable "what ifs". It's for emergency situations and they should be called only when you truly fear for a person's safety, or for your own.

Bailsmom, you totally did the right thing. This little girl was obviously trying to go back inside the house, calling for her dad, and you asked her many times if she was ok. I think you judged the situation correctly. I had to call 911 twice in my life, and I can tell you waiting 5 minutes for someone to answer when you need help is absolutely horrible. I really wish people didn't call 911 "just in case". There are usually other resources you can use instead.
You can't believe how many times I've argued with people about how 911 is not the number to the police station, it is an emergency number only.
"But it goes to the same place."
Grrrrr.

And if you didn't gather it, I think you did the right thing, bailsmom.
__________________
Petroleum based knitter, removing that nasty oil from the ground one skein at a time.

YouTube channel
Mike is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Mike For This Useful Post:
bailsmom (11-20-2008)
Old 11-20-2008, 07:59 PM   #40
Dangles
Working the Gusset
 
Dangles's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Wet Coast, eh.
Posts: 1,337
Thanks: 59
Thanked 477 Times in 435 Posts
Send a message via AIM to Dangles Send a message via Yahoo to Dangles
Yep, you did the right thing. You assisted a young child in need.
__________________

Dangles is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Dangles For This Useful Post:
bailsmom (11-20-2008)
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Does anyone in CO knit anymore????? fibrenut Knitters Knear You 54 05-14-2012 01:12 AM
I am not locked out anymore hyperactive General Knitting 8 10-22-2010 12:07 AM
WIP Deep V Argyle Vest that Ingrid helped me with scout52 What'cha Knittin'? 13 01-22-2008 08:37 PM
I can't do this anymore JessicaR The Lounge 14 08-30-2007 02:47 PM
my stash and the cleaning it helped avoid. letah75 General Knitting 17 04-11-2007 08:34 PM

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:46 PM.