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Old 11-21-2008, 08:07 PM   #1
Arielluria
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How Can You Keep From Crying?
Just as some people are bleeders, I'm a cryer and I hate it!

I don't see it as a sign of weakness, I've always been emotional; however, it might seem that way to others and I wish there were a way to keep myself PHYSICALLY from crying as I try to comfort someone.........how can I if I myself can't keep my emotions down?!?

I am amazed at the emotional fortitude of some people who can speak about the death or trials of a loved one (or their own) without breaking down while I myself break down even if I don't know the person they are speaking of.
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Old 11-21-2008, 08:33 PM   #2
evona
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I feel your pain! I am a crier too! I don't think of it as a weakness either, but I know that some people might. I have learned not to stop myself per se. I might try to be a bit more in control or excuse myself to the restroom if I think that I'm not in an appropriate place, but I have realized that its pointless to try to stop myself. The tears pour out anyway. When I was a kid I used to stop myself by taking deep breaths and counting to 10 and it worked well then. I have no idea why that simple trick has no sway over me now though.
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Old 11-21-2008, 08:53 PM   #3
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I'd trade places with you in a minute! I can't cry...and when I do, it's pathetic.

The last time I cried was Feb 2005...when my little 15 yr old Llasa Apso died. I wasn't expecting it. The vet thinks a hidden tumor ruptured, and she bled out. By the time I got her to the vet, she was hardly with me. I held her as the vet nudged her the rest of the way. We put her in the little doggie coffin my DH had made for me...and we took her home.

I cried so hard and long that I was bed-ridden. I threw up.
I got a migraine headache. I was positively ill.

When my little 13 yr old Shih Tzu died two years previous, I was prepared. I had seen it coming. I knew he had squamous cell cancer on his gums. From his diagnosis to his death was just 5 months. Five good months. I didn't make him stay on past the good days. I let him go...and brought him home, too.

They are both buried close by...and when we make our final move to the mountains of NorthEastern Washington, they will make the move with us.

Anyway, I could cry now, thinking about them...but just can't start.

When my mother died in 1978 I didn't (couldn't?) cry for about a year...around the anniversay of her death. Oh, I could feel that anniversary coming months ahead.

I think someone like you, who weeps with those who weep, are very special people. Your tears are total empathy, and sympathy. Don't ever change.

I also think that folks who cry over sad movies, or even happy movies, are very special, too! So totally special!

Don't change!

I have one daughter & one son like you!
My mother was a crier, too!
I don't know what happened to me.
I do know this about myself: 2 glasses of wine at the wrong time can break the dam unexpectedly.
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Old 11-21-2008, 11:32 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by ArtLady1981 View Post
I'd trade places with you in a minute! I can't cry...and when I do, it's pathetic.

The last time I cried was Feb 2005...when my little 15 yr old Llasa Apso died. I wasn't expecting it. The vet thinks a hidden tumor ruptured, and she bled out. By the time I got her to the vet, she was hardly with me. I held her as the vet nudged her the rest of the way. We put her in the little doggie coffin my DH had made for me...and we took her home.

I cried so hard and long that I was bed-ridden. I threw up.
I got a migraine headache. I was positively ill.

When my little 13 yr old Shih Tzu died two years previous, I was prepared. I had seen it coming. I knew he had squamous cell cancer on his gums. From his diagnosis to his death was just 5 months. Five good months. I didn't make him stay on past the good days. I let him go...and brought him home, too.

They are both buried close by...and when we make our final move to the mountains of NorthEastern Washington, they will make the move with us.

Anyway, I could cry now, thinking about them...but just can't start.

When my mother died in 1978 I didn't (couldn't?) cry for about a year...around the anniversay of her death. Oh, I could feel that anniversary coming months ahead.

I think someone like you, who weeps with those who weep, are very special people. Your tears are total empathy, and sympathy. Don't ever change.

I also think that folks who cry over sad movies, or even happy movies, are very special, too! So totally special!

Don't change!

I have one daughter & one son like you!
My mother was a crier, too!
I don't know what happened to me.
I do know this about myself: 2 glasses of wine at the wrong time can break the dam unexpectedly.
I know exactly how you feel. I've had people call me "cold". The last time I cried was when I found out the sister of my best friend was killed by a drunk driver on her way home from a no alcohol New Year's Eve party, and even then it took me several days (and drinks) before I got to that point of grieving.

My emotions are pretty flat most of the time. I truly envy those who experience and express emotion easily. Being " a cryer" in my opinion is much better than being someone for whom strong emotion is foreign (like myself). Having ice water in your veins isn't all it's cracked up to be.
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Old 11-22-2008, 12:01 AM   #5
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I'm a crybaby as well. I'm an EXTREMELY sympathetic person (much like yourself). I remember my first instance of sympathetic crying. I was 11 and my 12 year old brother accidentally shot our best friend in the stomach with a BB gun (it actually lodged in his abdominal muscles). I cried so hard I had to leave the room because I was upsetting HIM.

My husband is the opposite. I've only heard him cry a couple times and they were because of bumps in our relationship. He doesn't much express emotions. He often tells me he admires my emotionalness and that he never wants me to change.

Most people I've talked to agree.
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Old 11-22-2008, 12:05 AM   #6
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When I was a kid I would cry at the drop of a hat. I was teased unmercifully for it and now, as an adult I don't cry much. I wish I could but I just can't let it out.

Oh well.

I agree with Artlady that being able to express your emotions with tears is a good thing and you shouldn't ever feel bad about that.
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Old 11-22-2008, 12:06 AM   #7
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Put me in the cryer club right along with you. I get it from my mother. Lord, she cries at everything. I told her tonight that we were for sure coming home for Christmas and she was in the store and I swear she got choked up! If she starts to cry then I join right in. I know what you mean by not liking it a lot of the time. I cry at commercials, movies, tv shows. You name it, the flood gates open and I'm shoved right into the waterworks.

In order for me to stop myself from crying when I'm upset about something I drink a glass of water and that helps me. I think it's the swallowing part that makes the difference because I'm still upset as I'm drinking but the act of swallowing helps curb it. I just take frequent sips in order to make myself calm down enough to stop. Of course if I'm really upset I just let the tears flow but for the most part drinking the water really helps.
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Old 11-22-2008, 12:10 AM   #8
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I'm somewhere in the middle. I'm not overly emotional, but also no where near being seemingly cold. I don't really even understand why certain things make me cry while others don't.

However, I don't know if it's just the time of the year or what, but I have been weepy lately. I'm 31 years old, haven't lived at home in forever, yet I started balling the other day because I miss my Dad so much. He's in England right now (he comes home tomorrow! ) and has been for 2 weeks now, on business. My family is all very close and this is the longest amount of time my Dad has ever been away. And, I've talked to him on the phone only once in the past two weeks. I just miss hearing his voice and knowing he's home and that I could see him anytime I want, but now, he's a world away.

Then, the other night "How The Grinch Stole Christmas" was on (I just love that show) and I swear, every time I watch it I cry at the end! Hubby was making fun of me for it too!

But, when my mom called me and told me (about 2 years ago) that one of their cats died (we had had him since he was a kitten and I was just a kid when he was born and he lived to about 15), I was of course heartbroken but I just couldn't cry. I don't know if it's because we were expecting it or that I hadn't lived at home in years or what, but I just didn't cry. And I adored that cat! He was the sweetest thing...he'd curl up on your lap and I swear, he'd give kisses! He'd rub his mouth right up against my lips, and, he gave hugs! He'd put his paws on each of my shoulders and rest his head on a shoulder.

I dunno, I have no clue why I get weepy over some things but not others...
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Old 11-22-2008, 12:51 AM   #9
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I have the unlucky trait of being able to be read like a book...

My eyes also get red, and when I cry I look like a racoon....I have never liked that...I watch soaps, or movies or even TV shows...and not once do those ppls eyes go red...and I don't even just mean the white part of the eye, I mean giant circles under my eyes too...you can always tell when I have been crying...

I also turn beet red at the first sip of an alcoholic drink...I am not even near tipsy...and ppl always point at me and say I am drunk...

But as to try how to not cry...that is hard...I go with the flow, cause sometimes it is easier, and far less painful than not...

I take deep breaths...but as the first part goes...I can be read like a book...and whether I cry or not...ppl seem to know....
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Old 11-22-2008, 01:28 AM   #10
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I am crier when there is conflict, or when I'm angry. I can tear up at sad commercials or when someone on TV is crying. I'm not a bawler though, it's generally a quiet thing. Overall I'm pretty emotional, but I'm also a realist and in some situations I just don't. When my FIL died I was sad, but I didn't cry. He was old and had been ill and he went peacefully.

All this said I try not to cry. The swollen, red eyes are so uncomfortable I try to control it, but sometimes you just can't.
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