Originally Posted by vaknitter
I had a male friend who got really angry with me when I met my now husband. He did a lot of things that made it impossible for us to remain friends. We haven't spoken for a few years now and I just saw in the obits that his mother has passed away. There is a part of me that wants to send a card just to say "your family is in my prayers" and the other part of me is afraid that doing so would encourage him to contact me again and I am not interested in the drama. Do I send the card or just say my prayers and let it go at that?
Personally, I would send the card. Sending a card doesn't mean you're inviting drama back into your life - escpecially if you add a little blurb about something special about his mom. That way it's clear it's about her and how she will be missed. Have your husband sign it as well.
Having lost my dad, I never read anything into any cards I got other than kindness.
And, if it's been a few years, he's likely moved on as well....it's amazing what time will do for people...and won't even give a thought to the past (unless it's to feel badly about it and apologize for his behavior).\
Anyway, that's just me. Do what makes YOU feel most comfortable. You know what you're ready to deal with and what you are fearing will happen, so make the call that leaves you more at peace.