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Old 05-30-2009, 10:35 AM   #1
tokmom
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Who should pay?
Dilemma: My 17 yr old has been seeing orthopedic dr's since the first of the year. Finally got an appt for the ortho surgeon and got surgery scheduled for after school (june 29th)the schedular moved mountains and earth to get this date. Otherwise it would be in August!! She is a runner and is having leg issues. Currently all her activity is curtailed because of leg pain.
She will be a senior this next year and my fil has senior grandkids out for a week in the summer. He lives in Minn.
We kept in touch with him about her leg issues, the surgery possiblity and told him we hope she could come out this summer, but didn't have a surgery date....yet.
What came in the mail in March?? A plane ticket for July 11-18th! No warning!!
Now she will be 12 days post op. No running, biking, hiking allowed. Will have been off crutches for 2 days. And will have to learn to inject herself with blood thinners for car rides, and plane trips.

I asked him if we could move the trip. He said no problem, so I'm looking at August. However, it will cost 220 dollars. We are on a tight budget, fil is very well off.

I say he should pay becasue he knew of her condition, and yet went ahead and made plans that worked for only him. I never would have ok'd travel in July for this reason!
He hasn't offered and I'm ticked.
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Old 05-30-2009, 12:34 PM   #2
Jan in CA
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Can you use the same ticket in August? Or is that what you're talking about and it costs that much to change it? I know there is usually some fee, but that sounds like a whole ticket cost.

The kind thing for him to do is to pay for it, but I don't think you can do anything about it other than tell him that due to her surgery and finances it might not be possible for you to pay for the new ticket/change fee. Don't start an argument over it as it could affect the relationship down the line, but maybe he'll see it differently if you explain the situation.
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Old 05-30-2009, 07:41 PM   #3
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Yes, it's a 150 to just move the ticket and the difference of airfare that was similar to his times that he had chosen, upped the cost by another 70 dollars.
The surgery will cost us some money, and those shots are a 125 for 4 of them. That's my co-pay.
No, I won't ruin the relationship over this, but I really hope he comes through. We just can't afford it right now. He wants me to change it. Says we have the ticket. So dh would have to come out and ask him for the money.
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Old 05-30-2009, 10:36 PM   #4
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Oh, pooh! I totally agree with you that he should pay esp since he didn't check the surgery date.

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Old 05-31-2009, 08:44 AM   #5
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Have you told him it's not just a simple exchange for different dates? That trading in the ticket means extra fees & charges?

Maybe he hasn't offered to help because he doesn't realize it's going to cost so much more.
Tell him how generous the ticket was, if only he'd waited until you had a definite surgery date. Now it's going to cost _____ to change the ticket to August. Hopefully he'll offer to make up the difference!
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Old 05-31-2009, 09:30 AM   #6
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Oh yeah, he knows. He travels quite a bit. Fil told dh it would only be 50 dollars. When dh told me this, I about blew my stack, and said we were looking at least a 100. N.W either charges more or it's just too close to the travel time so the fees go up. Oh, and since she's 17, she's a minor, so I have to call and have it changed over the phone. It has fil's credit card number listed, so I don't know if I can even change it or he has to.
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Old 05-31-2009, 11:57 AM   #7
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Maybe you could just explain to him that you hate that the dates got mixed up...due to her surgery she just won't be able to come at that time...and due to the cost of the surgery and shots you two won't be able to change the ticket. You are very sorry but it looks like she might have to skip this summer and you hope he can get a refund for the ticket he has purchased. I'm sure he will understand and might then offer to pay for the ticket check...or may think that maybe waiting for awhile is best. In August would she be back to 100% or would it take longer?
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Old 06-01-2009, 12:05 AM   #8
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The dr said she'd be able to resume (slowly) her activites. No shots for travel or anything.

Dustinac, that is what we are going to tell him. It's either eat the cost and maybe he would pay to have to changed instead. Fingers crossed!

Thanks for the support guys. I was afraid that I was being unreasonable. Not that I ever am.
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Old 06-01-2009, 01:38 PM   #9
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I think I would say something like, "I'm sorry you bought tickets before we had a surgery date set. I was worried something like this might happen, that's why I tried to keep you in the loop about getting the surgery date set. Unfortunately, DD won't be able to use the ticket on that date, so we're sending it back. Thank you for your generosity in sending it, we appreciate it and we're sorry DD won't be able to use it."

Or maybe have DH say it, since it's his dad. You shouldn't be responsible for fixing this mistake- you did let him know the dates were up in the air. He chose to buy the ticket anyway. Whether he changes it should be up to him, so I would just send it back and let him deal with it.

GOOD LUCK, I know these things can cause hurt feelings all around!
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Old 06-01-2009, 02:24 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by Abbily View Post
I think I would say something like, "I'm sorry you bought tickets before we had a surgery date set. I was worried something like this might happen, that's why I tried to keep you in the loop about getting the surgery date set. Unfortunately, DD won't be able to use the ticket on that date, so we're sending it back. Thank you for your generosity in sending it, we appreciate it and we're sorry DD won't be able to use it."
I would also mention that due to financial constraints right now you won't be able to afford to change it. That gives him an opening to say 'why don't I change it for you' or whatever.
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