Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 07-17-2008, 09:52 AM   #1
Turning the Heel
knitpurlgurl's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Cranberry Twp., PA
Posts: 946
Thanks: 693
Thanked 321 Times in 166 Posts
Send a message via AIM to knitpurlgurl Send a message via Yahoo to knitpurlgurl Send a message via Skype™ to knitpurlgurl
Feeling so down right now
My husband took a job in Pittsburgh so that we could benefit from all of the autism services available here (not available in OH). Our son has Asperger's Syndrome and we were paying over $1000/month out of pocket for his services in Ohio. Unless you are indigent, you aren't eligible for any financially-related medical services in Ohio. Plus, insurance companies do not cover anything Autism-related and Ohio does not force them to.

He took the job and we moved into temp housing in northern PA. We left our 2400 sq ft house on 5+ acres with a gorgeous view of tree farms and a lush valley to live in a cramped, 2 bdrm apartment in the city. We can't find housing here like what we had in Ohio for what we could afford. We are giving up everything we enjoyed.

I am okay with with this. Our son is so much more important that our things.. but today for some reason I just felt so awful. I feel so 'un' hopeful. I can't break down and cry in front of the kiddos. they are having a hard time with this too and I need to be the strong, positive one. I don't know whay I am pitying myself so much today. I think it's all of the stress. The housing market in Ohio is horrendous and we face having our house for sale for perhaps a year or even more before selling it. We can't even THINK about buying another house until we sell ours. And when we do buy another house, it will definitely be much older and smaller and on almost no land.

I feel so ashamed for feeling this way. These are just things afterall. I know God has a plan for our family. I know it took real courage to move away from all of our friends and family so that our son could have a better life and a real chance at success. I know that success in the long term is more stable than success in the short term. I know all of these things.. but my heart just aches right now.
Knitting/Crochet/Crafting/and Related Product Review Blog: KnitPurlGurl

"Yarn stashes insulate the house."
"Just one more skein can't hurt."
- from Knitticisms
knitpurlgurl is offline   Reply With Quote


This advertising will not be shown to registered members. Join our free online community today!

Old 07-17-2008, 09:56 AM   #2
Sunshine's Mom
Turning the Heel
Sunshine's Mom's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Clifton Park, NY
Posts: 819
Thanks: 214
Thanked 279 Times in 242 Posts
Sunshine's Mom is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Sunshine's Mom For This Useful Post:
knitpurlgurl (07-17-2008)
Old 07-17-2008, 10:04 AM   #3
Working the Gusset
knitgal's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,710
Thanks: 1,249
Thanked 987 Times in 655 Posts
I'm sorry you're feeling down

OTN: Corona, Miter square blanket, Charity blankets
FO: Forest Canopy Shawl, Easy Baby Bootees, Kitty Pi, Ms. Marigold, Twinkle Toes, Josh's socks, Hedera socks, Spring Beret, Ashley's Birthday socks, Socks for the DBF's mom, grey socks for the DBF, my first socks, reversible cable scarf, ribbed hat for the BF, Manos Del Uruguay afghan, and a whole bunch of dishcloths!

knitgal is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to knitgal For This Useful Post:
knitpurlgurl (07-17-2008)
Old 07-17-2008, 10:07 AM   #4
Turning the Heel
Puddinpop's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Alabama
Posts: 682
Thanks: 106
Thanked 219 Times in 201 Posts
Send a message via AIM to Puddinpop
Let yourself grieve for your loss and then get on with it. It's o.k. God knows you miss your home and I think He will understand some grief for it. He knows you and your true feelings. After you grieve, start looking at this as a fresh new start and look forward to what He has ahead for your family. You did what was best for your family and that is tough to do for a lot of people. God has changed my directions completely at different times in my life and when I think I couldn't get out of this situation, He does miracles. Focus on Him and the other will take care of itself.
Puddinpop is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Puddinpop For This Useful Post:
knitpurlgurl (07-17-2008)
Old 07-17-2008, 10:17 AM   #5
Ribbing the Cuff
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: New York City
Posts: 49
Thanks: 0
Thanked 25 Times in 25 Posts
And this too shall pass. You made the right decision.
Its hard now but it will get better.
gailf is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to gailf For This Useful Post:
knitpurlgurl (07-17-2008)
Old 07-17-2008, 10:36 AM   #6
Instepping Out
Debkcs's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Salem, OR
Posts: 2,919
Thanks: 384
Thanked 1,281 Times in 1,192 Posts
You do know that it's normal to go through all these emotions, right? Anyone would, especially coupled with the daily stress of your son's problems.

I'll be praying that your house sells soon, and you can buy something more to your liking. I'm just glad that Pennsylvania has the programs that he needs.

You can always come here for

"All good things and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of Lights who cannot change."
James 1:17
Debkcs is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Debkcs For This Useful Post:
knitpurlgurl (07-17-2008)
Old 07-17-2008, 10:41 AM   #7
Turning the Heel
Knit4Fun's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 736
Thanks: 406
Thanked 353 Times in 325 Posts
Wow...that would be so hard - I can see why you'd be feeling down. It's so hard to make changes sometimes even when you understand the reason for doing so.

It may take some time, but maybe you can find a few things in Pittsburgh that you like...a good LYS, for example, or a good library if you like to read. Try to find a few small comforts and things will look up. I'm not super familiar with PA, but I know there are quite a few places with open space so maybe if you can find some of those (e.g. pick your own fruit or something similar), you can get back some of the open space feel while retaining all the good services for your child.

It's funny...everyone talks about how noble it is to sacrifice what you want and like for the good of something else...but I am here to tell you that it really sucks too! Pardon the language, but there it is. It is SO hard to do the right or good thing when it pulls on your heart to do so...but there ARE inherent little blessings that you will notice - whether it is an improvement in your child or a new friend you'll meet or just something even simpler - hang in there.

I know it's hard when you feel pulled from what you know and love - I'm out here living on the East Coast when my heart is in the Midwest as well so I can certainly relate. Feel free to PM me if you need to talk or vent. I'll pray for you and your family.

Big hugs!
Just one more row...

OTN: Chunky Knit Scarf; Baby Sweater; Mitts

Recent FO: Christmas Ornaments; Felted Bag; Felted Clutch

Ravelry ID: Knittn4Fun

Flickr ID: Knit4Fun

Knit4Fun is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Knit4Fun For This Useful Post:
knitpurlgurl (07-17-2008)
Old 07-17-2008, 11:05 AM   #8
Sewing Angel
Knitting the Flap
Sewing Angel's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: NM
Posts: 281
Thanks: 175
Thanked 130 Times in 121 Posts
I so admire you for relocating to get better services for your son.
We have a daughter with many disabilities and I know how hard it is. We have not had to relocate, but our lives are affected in so many ways. I have had many days like you are having now and I know I will have more. Never be ashamed of how you feel, its part of the process and I think we learn from it. I'm a big believer of "feeling your feelings" and then moving on. You guys are doing your best, but its still hard in the process. I'm sorry OH didn't have any help for you. It is different state to state. Anyway I will be thinking of you and if you want to "talk" more please pm me.
Sewing Angel is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Sewing Angel For This Useful Post:
knitpurlgurl (07-17-2008)
Old 07-17-2008, 11:15 AM   #9
2nd Sock, I Rock
dustinac's Avatar
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Mountaineer knitter in Buckeye country
Posts: 9,817
Thanks: 2,489
Thanked 4,204 Times in 2,997 Posts

A Mountaineer Knitter's Blog
dustinac is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to dustinac For This Useful Post:
knitpurlgurl (07-17-2008)
Old 07-17-2008, 11:51 AM   #10
Turning the Heel
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 826
Thanks: 369
Thanked 141 Times in 120 Posts
Aww sweetie, I'm so sorry you're having to uproot your family just to get decent medical coverage for your son. That really sucks. You have every right to feel down, I sure would. It must be just awful to leave a wonderful home and family to live in a cramped place, even if it is a temporary situation. It DOES suck and you go right ahead and feel the way you feel. No one should have to do what you are doing.

No, it's not forever and yes things will change, but at the moment it's not changed so you feel sad. Indulge your feelings, don't hide them or ignore them. It's okay if your kids see you sad, you're human. But they will see you be happy again.

Here's another for you.
Some days are curlier than others.
bailsmom is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to bailsmom For This Useful Post:
knitpurlgurl (07-17-2008)

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Ever had a bad feeling about your LYS? Cypher General Knitting 33 05-17-2008 05:36 PM
Is anyone else feeling sorry for themselves? DQ The Lounge 14 03-10-2008 02:53 PM
Feeling Flu-ish..... knittingymnast The Lounge 14 02-20-2008 02:20 PM
feeling down princess The Lounge 23 02-12-2008 04:20 PM
OT: Not feeling well PinkRoses General Knitting 13 03-10-2007 10:17 AM

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:30 AM.